New Beginnings

As of yesterday I officially began my journey of infertility investigation, and I once again feel hopeful for positive and new beginnings for my husband and I.

I had a mild panic attack walking up the stairs to the reception area of the clinic my first visit. It was a very overwhelming feeling as I looked around the waiting area. It was not a packed room, but there were a handful of couples waiting to see the Obstetricians.I was assuming the worst; ovarian cysts, endometriosis, google even had be convinced it was a possibility of cancer! This is a great example of why we should never self-diagnose. I spent well over a week obsessing over what it could be and questioning why me? As I sat patiently with my husband to see the doctor I looked around and for once felt like I wasn’t alone. All these couples are here for the same reason and it is a REAL struggle.

We met with the Doctor, who greeted us with a smile and a handshake. She also was very impressed with my husbands career choice, which was indicated on his initial paperwork – this really broke the ice for him and I! I had to mention this because I had  read some negative reviews about the clinic and the Doctor specifically – again do not believe everything you read on the internet. Make your own judgement from a place of love NOT negativity.

She proceeded to go over my blood work and and ultrasound results and she said explained there were no concerns with the tests and I did in fact ovulate according to my blood work. She was confident that I was experiencing unexplained infertility and that she would help us conceive.

We then sat with a nurse who presented us with a manual, which contained a laundry list of testing and required appointments. Not going to lie- I was a bit overwhelmed. The nurse assured me it was a lot of information, and that I should go home and read it over. I left the clinic bit overwhelmed but with a new sense of hope.

I did not pull out the folder containing the information until I had to – Cycle day one! As I read through the required tests and timing of these tests I began to feel overwhelmed once again. The fear of them finding an issue, how am I going to get all this time off work, they want me to do what?! Flooded with fear and negative emotions once again had me a bit down for a few days until the time came to go do the dreaded testing.

I made it! They weren’t all that bad. I need to remember the clinic and the staff are there to support me in this journey of conception.

This time around the waiting area for diagnostics was quite busy with women waiting to have ultrasounds and to see the doctor. Once my diagnostics were complete I was asked to wait to see the Doctor. The anxiety flooded my soul  like a title waive again… Did the last ultrasound not detect something? Is the doctor going to say we cannot help you? the wheels continued to work in overdrive as I waited about a half an hour after the tests to be seen by the Doctor.

Again, greeting me with a smile asking how I am doing. She looks down at the results and says – everything looks good. See you cycle day 10 to commence your cycle monitoring. Again! left the building with a smile and a sense of hope!

I feel drawn to write about my infertility investigation and treatment to hopefully touch someone else going through the same struggle… Unexplained infertility at the age of 29!

I never in my wildest dreams ever thought I would be sitting here writing this, but this struggle to conceive is REAL and I want women to know they are not alone.

This is my path and my struggles, which I look forward to sharing with everyone.